Always
by Lunar Kasumi
Summary: She always loved him. She knew that now. But she also know that she hates to.


This will be my first one-shot. I'm trying my hardest to get back into the habit of writing so that I can finish Fall To Pieces, so followers of FTP, know that I am not abandoning it. I am already revised the beginning chapters.

So… read away!

* * *

He found her at the beach. He always knew where to find her even when he wasn't looking.

"Kari?" he asked softly.

"I love you" she responded sharply. Her face was stony and her eyes dark. "And I _hate_ it."

T.K. didn't know how to respond. He continued staring at her a while longer before blindly sitting on the ground beneath him.

"How- When?" he started. Kari laughed ruefully and with a twisted smile she finally looked him in the eye.

"Always." She arose and walked off to edge of the dock and stared at the colored horizon with her back to him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked quietly. She almost didn't hear him over the crashing waves from the rising tide. It was a chilly November evening and the view breathtaking.

"Weren't you listening?" she asked hotly. "I hate it."

T.K.'s eyebrows knit. He had never been quick to anger when it came to his best friend but things had changed he supposed.

"So why now?" he asked, his voice no longer soft or quiet. "Why let me in on your little secret now?" he continued as he swiftly arose from his spot on the ground and stalked over to her.

Kari closed her eyes on the setting sun and willed herself not to lose her composure. She would not leave him with anything other than what she knew herself.

"Because you deserve to know" she murmured softly. "And I deserve to move on."

"What do you mean I deserve to know, Kari? How could I deserve this? Especially today?" he shouted at her. His tone was as chilled as the droplets of water that landed on her from the waves break.

Her eyes did not open. They remained shut as she replayed moments of their lives together. "Because we promised to never lie to each other, T.K., and that is all that I have been doing. I'm tired of it."

Silence seemed to pervade their surroundings. The waves still broke, but softly. "What else haven't you been telling me?" T.K. asked as he moved beside her.

When her eyes finally opened he could see the welled up tears. "Kari?" he asked again, all anger gone from his voice.

"I'm leaving" she said. She raised her arms, wrapping them around so that she could hold her elbows. "I found a place out in Washari. And I accepted an internship at their local paper.

"Why?" he asked although he knew the answer.

"I can't keep living a lie T.K. I can't live with two of you and pretend everything is alright anymore. I love you. I love the both of you but I need to love me now. I don't want to lose what we have but I don't think we have a choice. Nothing will ever be the same. Similar maybe, but never the way it was." She sighed and bowed her head. "How can I grow when all I can feel is contempt for those that I love? I don't feel like me any more 'Keru. I am constantly at war with myself over what I feel for you and its getting to be too much.

T.K. remained silent for a while as they stood in silence. His anger over the situation had quickly been dispensed of and now something close to sorrow for his best friend and frustration for the world took hold. "I'm so sorry Kar." He said as he took her hand in his. It was limp and remained so long after her removed it from his hold. Her stomach however is full with emotion manifested in the form of butterflies that have become a normal part of her life when it comes to T.K.

"It's not your fault. You cannot help whom you fall in love with. You know that" she said with a sad smile as she attempts to will away the 'insects'

"Will you come back?" he asked hopefully. Sure they're relationship would be strained but a life with out his best friend seemed empty.

Kari turned to head back in but he quickly stopped her by taking hold of her shoulders "Will you?"

"Eventually T.K."

"W-will you uh..." he stuttered "Is it too much to ask that you stay my best man?"

She smiled softly before hugging her best friend. "As if anyone else could fill the spot, after all how can I miss seeing Matt as the maid of honor?"

A smile broke on T.K.'s face. "do you know how long it took to convince him to go along with it? I wouldn't be surprised if he's a bit spiteful with you at the wedding because you wouldn't trade places."

Kari laughed and T.K. noted the traces pain in it. "I can deal with it. After all it isn't every day that your best friend and older brother get married"

T.K. grinned; despite the pain he knew his friend was in. "I guess not."

Together they walked off of the dock and onto the sandy shore, following the directions of their feet that knew the way home from years of practice.

"Are you sure you have to leave?" he asked as they reached the top of the worn out steps and the both of them, out of habit stole a glance at their old middle school.

"I'm positive" she answered. "I leave in two weeks" and stares ahead so she doesn't have to look into his blue eyes.

"So soon?" he asks, alarmed as he takes her hand in his once more. She closes her eyes, trusting him to guide her as they continued to walk. The feeling in the pit of her stomach grows and the flips become almost painful.

"I have a lot to work on"

He could only nod and they continued on their way home.


End file.
